The following is a transcript for the episode "Back Out There".

Script

The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Viacom International Inc. (a wholly owned subsidiary of Paramount Skydance Corporation), and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use under United States copyright law.

[Royal Woods Elementary School. School bell rings, students are playing dodgeball in gym class.]
Zach: "Man, I hate dodgeball!"
[Zach tries to avoid incoming balls, when Girl Jordan and other classmates are running around.]
Lincoln: [dodging incoming ball] "Me too!"
Clyde: [dodging incoming ball] "It's the worst!"
Liam: "I'd rather milk an ornery cow!"
Rusty: "Chill out, guys! Just like we practiced." [takes a pose] "Snake formation!"
[Zach, Lincoln, Clyde and Liam hide behind Rusty.]
Rusty: "So, we're all chilling at my place again today? Left!"
[Rusty, Zach, Lincoln, Clyde and Liam move left, dodging incoming ball.]
Zach: "Sure. Oh! We can make another popcorn pizza!"
Rusty: "Right!"
[Rusty, Zach, Lincoln, Clyde and Liam move right, dodging incoming ball.]
Lincoln: "Sorry, guys!"
Rusty: "Left!"
Lincoln: "I can't make it."
Rusty: "Right!"
Clyde: "Lincoln, you haven't hung out with us for all week!"
Lincoln: "I know. I've just had this thing to take care of."
[whistle blows]
Lincoln: [running to the exit door] "Have fun guys! "Catch ya later!" [gets hit in face by a ball] "Hey! Girl Jordan! The whistle blew!" [leaves]
Clyde: "You know, I'm worried about Lincoln. It isn't like him to not want to hang out."
Zach: [Gasp] "You think maybe an alien has taken over his body?"
Rusty: "That would explain the white hair."
Clyde: "Guys! It's not an alien. Lincoln and I have a signal for that if that happens."
Liam: "Well, something ain't right!"
Clyde: "We're Lincoln's friends and we have to do something."
Liam: "Respect his privacy?"
Clyde: "No, we are totally going to spy on him and find out what's going on!" [gets hit by a ball] "Hey! Girl Jordan! The whistle blew!"

[Scene cuts to what was once the Santiagos' house, where Lincoln is sitting on his bike observed by his friends.]
Rusty: "Ronnie Anne's old house? This is where he's been coming everyday?"
Zach: "Doesn't he know she moved?"
Clyde: "I think I know what's going on here."
[They all duck into the shrub.]
Clyde: "Lincoln's got a classic case of PBB."
Zach: "Peanut Butter Breath?"
Clyde: "No."
Rusty: "Pale Boy Bangs?"
Clyde: "No."
Liam: "Polybrominated Biphenyls?"
Clyde: "No. Lincoln has PBB, or Post Breakup Blues. The poor guy misses Ronnie Anne so much that he's coming here everyday to pine for her." [takes out some pamphlets] "I learned all about it in the pamphlets I collected in Dr. Lopez's Waiting Room."
Zach: "So, what do we do? Should we talk to him about it?"
Clyde: "No! The pamphlet says that will just send him into a denial spiral. The only way to reverse PBB and get closure is to distract her from thinking about Ronnie Anne by using a three step process called BBP. The first boy is for boys' night out!"
Liam: [raises hand] "Oh! My meemaw said I have to be home before dark."

[Lincoln is hanging out with his friends.]
Lincoln: "A boys' afternoon out sounds great, guys! What brought this on?"
Liam: "Your PBB."
Lincoln: [confused] "My what?"
Zach: [shuts Liam up] "Uh...your Pale Boy Bangs. They're so pretty, the world needs to see 'em!"
Rusty: [grabs Lincoln] "Come on, Lincoln! First thing this boys' afternoon out needs is some new threads." [pushes Lincoln into the tailor shop Duds for Dudes.] "My dad said he'd hook us up."
[Inside the shop, the boys come out of their dressing booths and are wearing matching white tuxes.]
Rodney: "Now there's five happenin' cats! You're gonna be fighting off the ladies with a stick!"
Liam: "Aw, dang. I didn't bring my stick."
[The boys each pass by Rusty's dad and give him a high-five.]
Clyde: "Yeah, thanks."
Lincoln: "These are great!"
Rusty: "Thanks again, Dad!"
Rodney: "Now, you kids have fun. Make sure to return the suits by tonight, and don't get a single spot on 'em..." [threateningly] "...OR YOU'LL BE GROUNDED FOR A MONTH!" [calmly] "Have fun!"
[Rusty gulps nervously and the others are outside the shop planning.]
Zach: "Anyone else feel like havin' buffalo wings?"
Clyde: "And nachos!"
Lincoln: "Chili fries!"
Liam: "Darn tootin'!"
[They all head off and leave Rusty behind.]
Rusty: [worried] "Uh, guys?"

[The boys are hanging out at Gus' Games and Grub and eating some messy food while keeping their suits clean.]
Rusty: [scared] "Careful, guys! Zach, napkin!" [gives Zach said napkin] "Lincoln, watch that sauce!" [gives Lincoln a napkin]
Zach: [whispers to Clyde] "It's working. He looks happy."
Clyde: [holds up his backpack with the pamphlets inside.] "These pamphlets have never steered me wrong."
[A song starts playing on the jukebox.]
Liam: "Ooh-wee, I love this song!"
Lincoln: "You know who else loves this song? Ronnie Anne." [eats a nacho]
[The boys look horrified at Lincoln thinking about his long distance girlfriend and Liam goes over to the jukebox.]
Liam: "Oh, uh, I just remembered. I hate this song." [changes it]
[Their waitress comes up]
Waitress: "Let me tell you guys about our dessert specials. We've got the heart-shaped cookie, the lovers' sundae for two, and the tira-miss-you!" [giggles]
Clyde: [frantically pushing the waitress away] "Nobody wants desserts! Let's play some games!"
[The others except Lincoln get up.]
Lincoln: [disappointed] "I wanted dessert."
Clyde: [grabs Lincoln] "Let's play Dance Dance Revolution!" [notices a couple playing on the game machine while holding hands and having hearts in their eyes.] "Never mind."
Zach: [covers Lincoln's eyes] "Let's just watch some TV."
[On the TV there's a wrestling match with two burly wrestlers tugging on a scrawny wrestler.]
Clyde: "Uh-oh. Those are Ronnie Anne's favorite tag-team wrestlers: Payne and Suffering."
Liam: "Uh, this place is lame. Who's up for a boys' day out music montage?" [takes Lincoln out]

[The montage begins with the boys going to a barbershop and getting their hair down. Then a limo comes by and takes them all for a ride as they pick out the sunroof and cheer. Next, they go to a rock climbing emporium, and then an indoor go-kart race course. After that, they go to an arts and crafts studio where Lincoln, Clyde, Zach and Liam make some pottery while Rusty wears a smock to keep his suit from getting dirty. Finally, they go to the pier and get their caricatures taken.]
Lincoln: "This boys' day out has been a blast, you guys!"
Clyde: "That's great to hear, Lincoln." [unsure] "Would you say you feel-" [looks in his pamphlet quickly] "-a sense of closure and more optimistic about the future?"
Lincoln: [thinking] "Um, that's pretty specific, but...yeah, I guess."
[His eye twitches while his friends smile at each other. His watch then starts beeping.]
Lincoln: [looking at the time] "Whoops! Sorry, guys. I have to go take care of that thing again." [runs off]
Zach: "Ugh! I can't believe it!"
Rusty: "So much for closure."

[Back at the former home of the Santiagos, same set up as last time.]
Zach: "He's back at Ronnie Anne's."
Liam: "Ooh-wee, he got it bad for that gal."
[They duck down again]
Clyde: "Don't worry. Minor setback. The pamphlet says this can happen. If the first B in BBP doesn't work, you just move onto the second B: Beautiful Ladies."
[They hop out of the shrub.]
Rusty: "That's my favorite B." [A bus's horn blares through the air. Rusty notices it and a mud puddle right next to them. He starts panicking] "Guys, protect the suits! Snake formation!" [They get into formation and Rusty shields them all with an umbrella so the mud doesn't get on the suits as the bus drives by.] "Ha! You can't beat the Rust Man that easily!" [suddenly, he and the others get pooped on by birds; distraught.] "NOOOOOOO!!!"

[The mall]
Rusty: [frantic] "Oh man. What am I gonna tell my dad about those suits?!"
Liam: "Aw, don't worry. You can get bird poop out. It's donkey poop you gotta worry about."
Clyde: [notices the target] "Here comes Lincoln. We're all clear about what to do?"
[The others nod]
Lincoln: "Hey, guys."
Clyde: "Hey, buddy! You took care of your...thing?"
Lincoln: "Yep." [highfives Clyde]
[The others squint slyly to each other.]
Clyde: [nudging his best friend's shoulder] "Glad you could hang out some more."
Liam: [acting and looking through the mall's comic book store's window.] "I declare, Zach, isn't that your friend Renee over there in yonder comic book store?"
Zach: [acting] "You are right, Liam. She is probably there because she is a huge Ace Savvy fan."
Rusty: [acting] "Hey, Lincoln, you're a huge Ace Savvy fan, too. You should go talk to her."
Lincoln: "I don't-"
[Clyde grabs Lincoln and shoves him into the comic book shop. The boys give each other a thumbsup.]

[Inside the comic store, Lincoln is talking to Renee.]
Lincoln: "It's so cool to meet someone who loves Ace as much as I do!"
Renee: "Same here."
[They both notice a rare Ace Savvy comic.]
Lincoln: "Whoa! Is that the limited edition Christmas issue with the variant cover?"
Renee: "Deck the Halls? I've been looking for that forever!"
Lincoln: "Me too!"
Lincoln and Renee: "It's the only copy." [start fighting over it] "GIVE IT! IT'S MINE!"
[The boys are watching the struggle through the window.]
Clyde: "Looks like we're gonna need another beautiful lady." [A punch is heard off-screen.] "And an ice pack."

[In a dark theater, a girl with braces is watching a movie. The boys enter the theater.]
Clyde: [acting] "Hey, Liam, isn't that your cousin, Hattie?"
Liam: [acting] "Tar-r-rnation! I didn't see her horse parked outside. Lincoln, you should sit next to her. She's a bigger sci-fi fan than you are." [drags Lincoln over to Hattie]
Hattie: "Ooooh! My, my, how do? I'm Hattie." [Gestures her hand for a handshake.]
[One of the theater attendants hushes Hattie.]
Lincoln: [shakes Hattie's hand] "I'm Lincoln."
Hattie: [sticks her feet up a seat] "You done seen this picture before? Oooh! I love the part where the alien becomes human!"
Audience: "Boo!"
Lincoln: [annoyed] "Kind of a spoiler."
Hattie: "That ain't nothing. Turns out the whole thing's just a dream!"
[The audience starts groaning and complaining and throwing their food at her and Lincoln, who facepalms.]
Female theater attendant: "She did NOT just say that!"
Male theater attendant: "Aw, come on!"
[The gang regroups outside]
Clyde: "Rusty, you must know some beautiful ladies."
Rusty: [uneasy] "Well, you know..."
Zach: [doubting] "Yeah. You're always bragging about what a ladies' man you are."
Rusty: [nervous] "It's tough on such short notice-"
Liam: [beggin] "Come on, man! It's for Lincoln!"
Rusty: [giving in] "Uh, sure. I can make a call."
[Sometime later]
Rusty: "Ah. Here comes the lovely lady now."
[Enter an old lady]
Tina: "Hello, Rusty. I'm very excited to meet this white-haired gentleman you told me about."
Clyde: [drags Rusty aside; disciplinary] "Rusty, who is that?!"
Rusty: [sweating] "Uh...my piano teacher?"
[The others look at him and shake her heads no in complete shock and dismay.]
Rusty: "Guys, give me a break! I've been going through a bit of a dry spell."
Zach: [sighs] "What are we gonna do, guys? Nothing seems to be working."
[Clyde looks over to the local karate dojo and sees a girl practicing in there.]
Karate Girl: "Hi-" [kicks a training bag] "YAH!"
Clyde: "Wait a minute, guys! Maybe instead of meeting someone who likes the same things as Lincoln, he needs to meet someone who likes the same things as Ronnie Anne."
[The girl keeps bashing on the training bag with her techniques while wailing a battle cry.]
Zach: "Ooooh! Good thinking, man!"
Rusty: "You should write your own pamphlets, dawg!"
[Lincoln comes out of the restroom while rubbing himself with a paper towel.]
Lincoln: "Well, I finally got all the hot buttered popcorn out of my hair and-" [gets grabbed by Clyde] "Aah!"
Clyde: [takes Lincoln to the dojo] "Hey, we were thinking about doing some group karate." [leaves]
Lincoln: "Uh, guys? I thought you said "group"."
Karate Girl: [notices Lincoln] "Oh. Did you want to spar?"
Lincoln: "No. Uh, that's-"
[The girl bows and starts sparring with and beating up Lincoln while the others watch.]
Zach: "Uh...I don't think beautiful girls is doing the trick."
Karate Girl: "HI-YAH!" [hits Lincoln again]
Clyde: "Well, in that case, it's time to move onto the final letter of BBP: P for Paradise. The pamphlet says Tahiti and Hawaii are good options."
Karate Girl: "WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH!"
[The boys check their pockets and find that they have no money.]
Rusty: "Hmm...sounds a little out of our budget."

[The boys are now sending a battered Lincoln away on a vacation.]
Lincoln: [reading his ticket] "Hazeltucky Motel and Water Park."
Liam: "Yep. Three days in paradise. We even packed your bag."
Lincoln: "Uh, guys, I appreciate the thought, but why are you doing this?"
[The bus arrives and the others decide to come clean.]
Clyde: "Because, buddy, it's the only way to cure your PBB!"
Lincoln: [worried] "I have Peanut Butter Breath, and no one told me?!"
Clyde: "No. Post Breakup Blues. We know Ronnie Anne broke your heart when she moved away, and we're trying to help you put the pieces back together."
Liam: "Yeah. We seen you standing outside her house, lookin' like a cat who done lost his saucer."
Lincoln: [holding back laughter] "Oh, man, that's what this is all about? Guys, you got it all wrong. I don't miss Ronnie Anne."
Clyde: "Here comes the denial spiral."
Lincoln: "No, seriously, I was only sitting in front of her house because-"
Bus Driver: "All aboard!"
[The boys shove Lincoln onto the bus and it leaves with him. Lincoln starts yelling at them but no sound comes through the back window.]
Clyde: "He'll thank us later."
Zach: "Yeah. I just hope he knows how lucky he is to have friends like us."
[Just then, they notice Lincoln's phone on the ground vibrating.]
Clyde: [picks phone up] "Huh. Lincoln must have dropped his phone." [sees who's calling] "Ronnie Anne?! Ugh! Unbelievable! She's still tormenting him? I'll handle this." [answers] "Hello, Ronnie Anne. This is Clyde, Lincoln's best friend."
Ronnie Anne: "I know who you are, Clyde. Where's Lincoln?"
Clyde: "You need to leave him alone!"
Rusty: "Yeah! He needs space to get over you!"
Ronnie Anne: "Get over me?"
Zach: "Yeah. Since you left, the poor guy's just been standing in front of your old house everyday."
Ronnie Anne: "Yeah! Because I asked him to look out for a package that was sent to me there!"
Clyde: "How's that now?"
Clyde, Rusty, Liam, and Zach: [guilty] "Uh-oh..."
Ronnie Anne: [frustrated] "Did you guys do something stupid again?"
Clyde: "We have to stop that bus!"
Rusty: "Snake formation! It'll cut down wind resistance!"
[The boys get into position and charge after the bus while wailing.]

[Back at the Loud House, Lincoln is talking to Ronnie Anne on video chat in his room.]
Ronnie Anne: "I'm glad they caught you in time."
Lincoln: "Yeah. I've never seen Clyde run that fast. He actually threw up."
Ronnie Anne: "You must've been furious with them for putting you through all of that."
Lincoln: "Nah. They were just trying to be good friends. Besides, I think they're suffering enough right now."
[Back at Duds for Dudes, the boys are cleaning the suits that got pooped on by Rodney's order.]
Rusty: [devastated] "Man, this bird poop isn't coming out."
Liam: "Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it's donkey poop that comes out easy and it's that dang bird poop that you gotta worry about."
[Back to Lincoln and Ronnie Anne's chat.]
Lincoln: "Well, the good news is, your package finally arrived!" [holds it up]
Ronnie Anne: "Cool! Hey, could you open it for me? I wanna make sure it's not damaged."
[Lincoln opens the box, and a pie splats over his face. Ronnie Anne laughs while Lincoln scowls in anger.]
Ronnie Anne: [still laughing] "Oh, man. That cost me 25 bucks, but it was so worth it. Smell ya later, lame-o." [signs off]
Lincoln: [cleaning himself off, irritated] "Ugh! Ronnie Anne!" [stops and realizes.] "Ha! I guess the guys were right. I really do miss her." [smiles confidently]