[Open on Lincoln exiting the Loud House.]
Lincoln: [to the viewers] "It's my favorite day of the week: Shelby Saturday! That's when my cousin Shelby comes to hang out while Uncle Lance and Aunt Sharon check in on their new gym in Royal Woods."
[Suddenly a horn honks. Lance's truck pulls over and runs over the Louds' mailbox. When a door opens, a scooter comes out, followed by Shelby.]
Shelby: "Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!"
Lance: [off-screen] "Have fun! We'll see you this afternoon!"
[Shelby closes the door, and Lance drives off.]
Shelby: "Hey, cuz! Check me out!"
[She attempts a trick on her scooter, but loses her balance and hits Lincoln. They laugh it off.]
Shelby: "I'm super excited for Linc Day. I jotted down some ideas for what we can do." [takes out her notes] "Like break the world record for wearing the most socks." [shows she already has dozens of socks on] "I already got a jump on it. Or we could start a doggy hug-a-thon! Or, ooh," [takes out binoculars] "we could spy on suspicious squirrels."
[She turns around and sees Mr. Grouse, who is staring at her from his front yard.]
Mr. Grouse: "Hey, hows about you play around and pipe down?!" [Shelby lowers her binoculars] "I'm trying to prune my peonies in peace!"
Lincoln: "Come on. We can start with the squirrels."
[He dons his helmet, and he and Shelby ride their scooters down the street past Mr. Grouse. They pass by a house that's for sale.]
Lincoln: [gasps and stops] "Hey, look! The house next to Grouse's is for sale!"
Shelby: "Too bad we can't move there. Then every day would be Linc Day!" [starts counting] "Linc Monday, Linc Tuesday, Linc Wednesday, Linc—"
Lincoln: "I get the picture. But, Shelbs, that's a great idea! I think I just figured out today's activity."
LATER THAT DAY...
[At the Loud House, Lincoln and Shelby have gathered Leni, Luna, Luan, and Lynn, plus Shane and Shiloh via video call, to announce their plan.]
Lincoln and Shelby: "We're calling it... Operation: Relocation!"
[The other six are completely confused, with Luan and Lynn blinking.]
Shelby: "We're gonna convince Mom and Dad to move into the house two doors down from here. We'll all be neighbors."
[The other six are down for the idea and cheer.]
Shane: "But you know what Dad will say." [imitates Lance] "'We can't leave Pleasant Hills! It has everything on our checklist. Great schools, boom! Culture, boom! The friendliest neighbors in Michigan, boom, boom, boom!'"
Shiloh: "And Mom will be all like..." [imitates Sharon] "'You know I can't live without my favorite vegan restaurant!'"
Lincoln: "Not to worry. We're gonna show your parents that Royal Woods has all that stuff, too."
[Shelby nods in agreement.]
[Later, it's time for Shelby to leave]
Sharon: "Glad you two had fun."
[As Lance packs Shelby's scooter, Shelby scoots back, takes out her pen collection, removes a pen, and throws it into the bushes while no one (except Lincoln) is looking.]
Lance: [to Lincoln] "And so I told him, 'No pain, no reward. You gotta do the crunch before you break for lunch.' Know what I mean?" [elbows Lincoln]
Lincoln: [in pain] "So true, Uncle Lance." [weakly gives a thumbs-up] "If only you could be here every day to offer this wisdom to your gym members."
Lance: [realizes] "Well, they could always buy one of my motivational T-shirts."
Sharon: "We should get going. We have a long trip home." [Lance kisses her on the cheek and then walks to the car. Sharon then hugs Lincoln goodbye] "Bye, sweetie."
[Lincoln secretly winks and thumbs-ups Shelby to start their plan. Shelby winks and thumbs-ups Lincoln back.]
Shelby: [acting] "Oh, no. Where's my souvenir Mackinac Bridge floaty pen? I must have lost it somewhere in town."
Lance: "Aw, man. Shelbs, what have I told you about taking care of your stuff?"
Shelby: [acting] "We have to look for it! My collection of Michigan landmark pens won't be complete without it!"
Lincoln: [acting] "You probably just dropped it at that vegan smoothie place."
Sharon: [perks up] "There's a vegan smoothie place around here?"
Lincoln: "Of course. It's just one of Royal Woods' many hidden gems."
[He and Shelby look at each other, knowing Lance and Sharon have taken the bait.]
[The "vegan smoothie place" is Flip's Food and Fuel, remodeled into Flip's Vegan Food and Fuel, looking more like Phillip's Beans and Greens from "Time Trap!"]
Lincoln: "Here we are."
Lance and Sharon: "Ooh!"
[The interior is well-decorated and filled with vegan foods. Lance and Sharon approach the register and are greeted by Flip, who looks more like his alternate self from "Time Trap!" and is carrying a tray of vegan smoothies.]
Flip: "Welcome to Flip's Vegan Food and Fuel. We'll make all your meatless dreams come true! Uh, farm-fresh wheatgrass?"
[The three take sips of the smoothies]
Sharon: "Ah, so refreshing."
[Since these smoothies aren't what Flip usually makes, though, he instantly spits them out as soon as Lance and Sharon are out of sight. Meanwhile, Lance and Sharon run into Leni, who appears to be shopping.]
Leni: [acting] "Aunt Sharon? Uncle Lance? What are the chances I'd run into you while shopping for all my plant-based proteins?"
Shelby: "Well, my pen's not here. We should check the park." [leads Lance and Sharon outside]
[Flip waves farewell to them]
Lincoln: "Thanks for the help, Flip." [hands him some money]
Flip: "You betcha! But my stellar performance will cost you extra." [beckons for more money]
[An annoyed Lincoln hands Flip more money and leaves. Flip presses a button, revealing the vegan products were just a front for the usual Food and Fuel stuff. Nacho has devoured a bowl of ice cream.]
[Tall Timbers Park]
Shelby: "Let's see. I know I had my pen out when we were watching that critically-acclaimed play."
[A stage has been set up at the park, with Luan on stage while Luna plays music for money. Charles, Cliff, Walt, and Geo are watching.]
Luan: "To move or not to move, that is the question."
Lance: "I didn't know Royal Woods had theatre at the park. This town has really changed since I was a kid."
Lincoln: "Oh, yeah. These days, we're what you might call a cultural hub."
Luan: "Shouldest I moveth closer to mine own brother, or stayeth and perish from a broken heart?" [leaps into Lance's arms and "dies" while throwing red confetti as the "blood"]
Lance: [drops Luan] "We gotta come back with Shane. He loves all this dramatic stuff."
Shelby: "No pen here, either. Maybe I left it at Royal Woods' award-winning middle school."
[They leave, with Lincoln and Luan giving each other a thumbs-up.]
[They arrive at Royal Woods Middle, now with an "AWARD WINNING" sign tacked onto the sign.]
Lance: "Wow."
Sharon: "Ooh."
[At the field, Lynn is riding a horse and jumping equestrian hurdles. There's an equestrian club sign nearby.]
Lance: "Oh."
Sharon: "Impressive."
[Lynn stops by on the horse as it rears.]
Lynn: "Whoa-ho!"
[Lance and Sharon applaud the performance.]
Lance: "Wow. Sweet horse-riding, Lynn."
[The horse starts nuzzling Sharon]
Sharon: "Wow. Your school has an equestrian club? Shiloh would be all over this."
Lincoln: "That's nothing. Royal Woods Middle also has an impressive two-to-one student-teacher ratio and a five-star cafeteria."
Lance: "No way."
Shelby: "You know what? I just remembered where I left the pen: Back at Lincoln's house!" [chuckles]
[Lance and Sharon are confused, with Lance facepalming and groaning.]
[They make it back to the Loud House]
Shelby: "Eureka!" [spots the bush she's left the pen at and retrieves the pen] "It was here the whole time!" [shows off the floaty pen by tilting it back and forth so the car drives on both sides of the bridge] "Ooh, ooh, ooh—"
[They're interrupted by Mr. Grouse]
Mr. Grouse: [acting] "Hey, neighbor. I brought you some freshly-baked banana bread 'cause that's what good neighbors do." [hands it to Lincoln; whispering] "I don't know what this is about, Loud, but a deal's a deal. Stay out of my way for a month." [chuckles and leaves]
Lance: "Well, that was nice of him."
Lincoln: "Yep, that's how all the neighbors are in Royal Woods."
Sharon: "I've been getting such good vibes all day. I don't know why we don't spend more time here."
[Lincoln and Shelby grin and wink at each other, knowing it's worked.]
Shelby: "I know, right?" [spots the house for sale] "Hey, wait, what's that I see?" [Lincoln gasps] "Is that a 'For Sale' sign on that picturesque four-bedroom, two-bathroom house?"
Lincoln: "I think you're right. I wonder what lucky person will end up buying it."
Lance: "You know, this might sound crazy, but we may want to consider it. We've been commuting a lot, and our Royal Woods gym is growing faster than the one back home."
Lincoln: "That's a great idea, Uncle Lance. Why didn't we think of that?"
Lance: "Ah, well, I have been called an idea man."
Sharon: "After everything we've seen today, I'm sold."
Lance: "I'll get the number of the realtor. Come on, Shelby, let's go home and tell Shiloh and Shane!"
[Lance and Sharon leave]
Shelby: "EEEEE!"
Lincoln: "Yes!"
[The cousins high-five.]
[Lance and Sharon drive off with Shelby.]
Lincoln: [to the viewers] "Alright! Operation: Relocation was a success!" [realizes] "OK, we may have embellished things a bit, but Royal Woods really is awesome, and once Aunt Sharon and Uncle Lance move here, they'll fall in love with it, too." [His phone rings; he picks up; it's Shelby] "Hey, Shelby."
Shelby: "Hey, Linc. Can't talk now, but the walrus dropped his tusk and is returning to the zoo."
Lincoln: [not understanding what she's saying] "What?"
Shelby: "The gorilla is going back for the banana."
Lincoln: [still confused] "Just text me."
Shelby: "Right. Smart." [hangs up]
[Shelby texts Lincoln the bad news. He reads the text and tenses in panic.]
Lincoln: "Oh, no."
[The Royal Woods Roller Rink. Lynn is rollerblading and hip-checking a couple of her teammates when she gets a call from Lincoln.]
Lynn: [picks up] "This better be good, Stinkin'."
[Cut to Lincoln calling her while riding his bike.]
Lincoln: "Lynn, Uncle Lance lost his wallet, so he's going back to all the places we went to! I need you to get back to school with Liam's horse, and fast!"
[Lynn's end]
Lynn: "I just got to roller derby practice! I'll never make it back in time!" [Lincoln's end] "You'll have to cover it!" [gets tackled by Margo]
[Lincoln accidentally drives into a bush and falls from the impact.]
[Lance, Sharon, and Shelby end up at Royal Woods Middle School. Shelby notices the fake setup isn't there.]
Shelby: "Wait! I have to go to the bathroom!"
Lance: "Again? We've already stopped three times!"
[Shelby sees Lincoln show up on Liam's horse, giving a thumbs-up.]
Shelby: "Oops. False alarm. I don't have to go anymore. Let's look for that wallet."
Sharon: [confused] "Wait, Lincoln, you're in the equestrian club, too?"
Lincoln: "Oh, yeah. Big horse guy from way back."
[Nearby, Mr. Bolhofner is walking Rocket, who is tracking Liam's horse's hoofprints.]
Mr. Bolhofner: "Ooh, what are you tracking, boy?"
[Rocket looks up, and his eyes narrow when he sees Lincoln riding Liam's horse.]
Lincoln: [worried] "Uh-oh."
[Rocket yowls, breaks his leash, and goes after Liam's horse with Mr. Bolhofner in pursuit. The horse rears...]
Lincoln: "Whoa!"
[...and gallops away.]
Lance: "What the heck is going on here?!"
[Mr. Bolhofner pounces on Rocket, ending the chase.]
Mr. Bolhofner: "You tell me! How's a guy supposed to walk his feral bobcat with some random horse running around?!"
Lance: "What? I thought it was part of the equestrian club."
Mr. Bolhofner: "Pfft. Equestrian club? Yeah, yeah. What are you, some kind of—" [gets trampled by Liam's horse]
Lance: "Hmm. On second thought, maybe I lost my wallet at the park."
Shelby: "OK." [to Lincoln] "Guess we're going to the park next!"
[Lance grabs her and drags her away]
[Tall Timbers Park. Shelby gets to the stage and sees Lincoln isn't there]
Shelby: [thinking of a distraction] "If I were a wallet, where would I... There it is!"
[She points to a nearby bush, and Lance and Sharon start searching, not noticing Lincoln ride Liam's horse as it vaults over them and enters the stage. Lincoln comes out wearing Luan's actor wig, panting. Lance comes back to the stage holding a pinecone.]
Lance: "It's just a pinecone."
Shelby: "Oh, my bad. Time to adjust my prescription."
[Lance throws the pinecone away, and he and Sharon shrug. They notice Lincoln dancing on stage and giving a thumbs-up. Unfortunately, Chandler and Trent come over and heckle him.]
Chandler: "Hey, look. It's a dumb, stupid show." [laughs] "That actor can't even dance! Boo! Let's baloney his butt."
[They take out some sliced bologna sausage from Chandler's lunch bag and pelt Lincoln with them. One of the bologna hits Lincoln in the face.]
Sharon: [gasps] "How terrible! Those kids are bullying that poor thespian!"
Shelby: [trying to cover it up] "No, it's just an interactive play! The audience is supposed to throw baloney at the actors." [throws some bologna at Lincoln's face] "See?"
Lance: "Sweet! I'll get in on that." [grabs another piece of bologna to join in]
Sharon: [stops him] "Another time. Let's get to Flip's. Maybe we left the wallet there." [leaves with Lance]
Shelby: [to Lincoln] "Guess we're going to Flip's now!" [leaves]
[Lincoln leaves while still trying to dodge the bologna.]
[Lincoln makes it to Flip's Food and Fuel.]
Lincoln: [panting] "Vegan... Lance... Any second!"
[Leni and Luan have arrived and are using Flip's remote to put the vegan facade back.]
Leni: "We got your text, and we're already on it."
[One of the vegan setups is stuck, so Luan pulls on it, and it comes back down.]
Lynn: [rollerblades inside] "What can I do to help?"
[The bell rings as Luan grimaces in shock. Lance, Sharon, and Shelby arrive, with Shelby straining to hold her dad back.]
Shelby: "Wait! Don't go in."
[Lincoln and his sisters act unnaturally casual.]
Lincoln: "Uncle Lance! Aunt Sharon! Shelby told me you lost your wallet, so we ran over to look for it."
Lance: [spots his wallet] "Hey, there it is! Right between the bean burgers and the organic kale chips." [retrieves his wallet]
Flip: [spots them] "Hey, why'd you put all this hippie vegan junk back?! You only paid for one fake-out!"
[Lincoln, his sisters, and Shelby all frantically signal him not to give away the ruse.]
Sharon: [confused] "Fake-out?"
Lance: "What?! OK, what is going on?"
[Lincoln and his sisters sigh, knowing they're busted.]
Lincoln: "OK, Flip's isn't vegan, and there's no equestrian club or theatre in the park."
Shelby: "We just really wanted to move here, and we were worried you guys wouldn't if Royal Woods didn't hit all the booms on your checklist."
Lincoln: "We're sorry. We just wanted to spend more time together."
Sharon: "That's why you did all this? So you could be closer to each other?"
Cousins: "Mm-hmm."
[Lance and Sharon smile at each other, sympathizing with their daughter, nieces, and nephew.]
[Lance slaps a "SOLD" sticker on the "FOR SALE" sign of his new Loud House.]
Lance: "Royal Woods is about to get louder!"
[The other Louds—not just Shane, Shelby, and Shiloh, but also Lincoln, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, and all of their siblings and parents—have gathered to celebrate Lance and his family moving in. All 18 Louds cheer in celebration. Hearing all the chaos, Mr. Grouse comes out of his door.]
Mr. Grouse: "What's all the ruckus?!"
[He gasps at the sight of Lance's family moving in next door. All 18 Louds stop what they're doing.]
Sharon: "Hi, neighbor!"
[Realizing he's going to have to endure living with even more Louds nearby, Mr. Grouse can only stare in horror.]
Mr. Grouse: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" [collapses]
[The end.]
