The following is a transcript for the episode "Bummer Camp."

Script

The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Viacom International Inc. (a wholly owned subsidiary of Paramount Skydance Corporation), and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use under United States copyright law.

[At the Loud House, the kids are watching The Dream Boat]
Announcer: "We now return to a special episode of The Dream Boat. Brynn finally reveals who's won her heart."
[Brynn's suitors are a pirate and a man wearing nothing but swim briefs, both holding roses. Suddenly Leonard calls in, with the call interrupting the program.]
Leni: "OMGosh, Brynn chose Gramps! I did not see that coming."
Lisa: "No, Leni, I rigged the television so our calls are routed through it. That way none of us would have to leave the room and miss out on all of the seafaring dishiness."
[The call connects; Leonard is at Camp Mastodon]
Leonard: "Hello?" [static] "Is this thingy on? I just see me." [backs up and sees his kids] "Up, there you are! Ah, hi, my little minnows!"
Lincoln: "Hey, Gramps. What's up?"
Leonard: "Well, kiddos, I'm in a bind. I got a new batch of campers coming in a week, and my counselors just bailed on me during training! I'm as stuck as a boat at low tide! Why, without counselors, I'll have to close down Mastodon and return to life at sea."
[The kids gasp]
Lincoln: "Wait, what?"
Leonard: "Ah, breaks my heart. I love this ding-dang camp. All the summers your dad and I spent here together..." [sighs] "So, if you know any counselors, just let me know. Gramps, over and out." [tries to end the call] "How do you... where do I- WHOA!"
[He drops the camera in the lake, where a fish swims over before the call disconnects.]
Lynn: [irate] "Gramps leaving?! Major foul! I don't want him to go!" [starts venting her rage by kicking the couch]
Luna: "None of us do, dudette. We just got him back!"
Lucy: "We have to find some counselors for Gramps. I'll see if any of my undertaker friends are looking to pick up extra cash."
Lincoln: "Wait!" [Lynn stops kicking] "We can be Gramps's counselors. Then the camp will stay open and he won't go. Who's with me?" [the sisters start cheering]"Camp Mastodon, here we come!" [notices they're still watching The Dream Boat] "Um, guys?"
Lola: "Yeah, we're gonna need five minutes. We have to see who Brynn picked!"

[At Camp Mastodon, Leonard finishes hammering in a sign saying "CLOSED FOREVER"]
Leonard: [sighs] "Well, Leonard, looks like you're going down with the ship."
[A horn is heard. Vanzilla, with Leni at the wheel, pulls up to the camp.]
Loud Kids: "Hi, Gramps!"
Leonard: "Kids!" [hugs Lana] "What the heck are you doing here?!"
Lincoln: "Hope it's not too late for your new counselors to start!"
Lynn: "Yeah! We aren't gonna let Mastodon close. Looks like you won't be needing this!" [removes the sign]
Leonard: [hugs his kids] "Well, batten my hatches, my little Loud life-savers!"
Lana: [suffocating] "Gramps... Need... air!"

[The kids are now at the docks in life-vests]
Leonard: "Here are your sleeping quarters!" [shows them his boat]
Luna: "But you've got all those cabins."
Leonard: "My crew sleeps on board! But don't worry, my boat has every creature comfort!"

[The Louds are cramped in hammocks. Lincoln is repeatedly hit by a blowfish]
Lincoln: "Ow. Ow."
Lucy: "Horror of horrors... It would appear there are no bathrooms."
Leonard: "Oh, silly sand dab. Of course there are!" [takes out a dirty bucket]
Loud Kids: "Ew..."
Lana: [embraces the bucket] "I'll name him Sloshie Jr.!"
Leonard: "Well, his name is actually Frank, but that has a nice ring to it. Anyway, I'll let you get settled in." [climbs the ladder to the deck]

[The kids are fast asleep when Leonard suddenly blows the horn. Lincoln, Lana, and Lynn confront him on deck]
Lynn: [grouchy] "Come on, Gramps, lay off the horn! It's 3:00 in the morning!"
Leonard: "My crew starts early. Like we said in my fishing days, a minute after dawn and mackerel are gone!"
Lana: [laughs] "Mackerel, always in a hurry."
[The three siblings fall back below deck]
Leonard: "We'll meet at 0400 hours for training. See you then, crew!"
[Lana's eyes are dizzy]
Luan: "Leni, what are you doing?"
Leni: "If we're not meeting for 400 more hours, I'm getting some beauty sleep."
[She slips on her sleep mask and the others sigh.]

[4:00 AM. A seagull flies into the lake to nab frozen fish as the Louds stand in the lake, the kids shivering.]
Lisa: "This water is colder than the liquid nitrogen freeze chamber in winter. Why are we out here, pray tell?"
Leonard: "Leonard Loud's crew catches its own chow. Why, back in my seafaring days, we ate nothing but fresh fish."
Mr. Coconuts: "Heya, pal, we got these newfangled things called grocery stores now. You know, you buy things?"
Leonard: "Oh, why buy fish when you could catch it?" [hears the movements of one fish, then carefully watches it before nabbing it] "Ding!" [laughs] "Your turn, and I want everyone to do it the right way... by hand."
[The kids start fishing by hand. Lola fishes out a turtle and puts it back in the water.]
Lynn: "WOO-HOO-HOO!" [dives in the water and comes out riding a giant sturgeon] "LOOK WHAT I CAUGHT!" [The fish bucks her off and slaps her back on land. She trudges back in the water] "Rematch! You and me, fishface!"
Leonard: [catches Lynn] "Don't worry, crew. You'll be doing this every day, so you'll catch on."
[The kids groan]

[Later, Leonard unveils a barnacle-covered canoe]
Leonard: "You gotta scrape the barnacles off this so it'll be ready for the campers."
Luan: "Barna-call me crazy, but why not get another canoe?"
Leonard: "No way! It's still got lots of life! Besides, back in the day, we couldn't wait to scrape barnacle! Have fun, minnows!" [leaves]
[The kids are left to their own devices.]

[Later, Luna repeatedly breaks shovels trying to break the barnacles, with Leni and Lola having brought a box full of them and the entire supply being exhausted. Lynn uses a hammer to break the barnacles, but fails. Lincoln grabs a jackhammer and begins removing barnacles as his sisters cheer, but is sent careening into the woods. Eventually, all the barnacles are gone, and the sisters are all exhausted.]
Leonard: "Well, rig my sails! I'm impressed, kiddos! Guess you won't have any trouble with the rest of 'em!" [points to even more barnacle-encrusted canoes] "Well, let me know when you're finished!" [leaves]
Lisa: "Now we know why all those other counselors quit."
Lynn: "Yeah, Gramps is running this camp like he ran his fishing boat, and it's 0% fun!"
Lisa: "And if he keeps this up, he'll run off his future campers, too. Mastodon will be done for, and Gramps will leave us! I'm afraid we must tell him."
[The runaway jackhammer chases Lincoln.]

[That night, Leonard plays accordion in front of a campfire as the kids sit exhausted, save for Lily who is warming her hands]
Lola: [whispering to her siblings] "Well, who's gonna start?"
[All of them (except Lily) do Nose Goes. Lily looks back at her siblings and realizes what that means.]
Lily: [sighs] "Dang it." [approaches Leonard] "Gramps?"
Leonard: [chuckles] "Yes, little minnow?"
Lily: "Fishy stuff no fun. Bad for camp."
Leonard: [shocked] "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whaddya mean?"
Luna: "Gramps, dude, what Lily's trying to say is that all that fisherman stuff was great, when you were a fisherman."
Leni: "But it's not so great for a camp. You have to make people wanna come here."
Lisa: "Which means changing how you run this establishment. Perhaps, uh, make it more like how it was when you and Father were campers."
Leonard: "But I was a fisherman for so long! It's all I know!"
Lincoln: "Well, you gotta try! And we can help you!"
Leonard: [stands up] "I gotta think it over, kiddos, and I do my best thinking on my boat."
[He enters his boat and blows his horn]
Lana: "Woo-hoo! Gramps says he'll give it a try!" [looks to see her sisters looking in confusion] "I'm fluent in boat horn."

[The Louds are at an archery range]
Lisa: "Alright, Gramps, time to get your proverbial camp legs back. Surely you must remember archery."
Lynn: "It's a cinch! Watch." [fires an arrow and hits the bullseye] "You're up, Gramps."
[Leonard looses his arrow, but it hits a deer on the rear.]
Leonard: "Dang it." [gets an idea] "I know just the thing!" [He gets a giant harpoon and fires it at the target, breaking the tree and causing it to break.] "Aw."

[The Louds are now on Leonard's boat with Lola water-skiing.]
Leonard: "Water-skiing?! Well, shellac my hull! This I'll get right for sure! LOLA, SWEETIE, GET READY!"
Lola: "Prepare to be dazzled."
[He starts the boat as Lola strikes poses while water-skiing. Suddenly the giant sturgeon passes by the boat]
Leonard: "Ooh! Look at the size of that one! He's getting away! Hang on, kids!" [He chases the fish and immediately jerks to starboard, causing Lola to let go of the rope and accidentally land in a bush.] "Looks like he got away."
Lola: "Uh, can somebody help me out here?!"
Leonard: "Oh! Lola, sweetie, I forgot you were back there!" [growls to himself] "Another netful of nothing, Leonard!"

[It's now sunset and the Louds are now at a picnic table]
Mr. Coconuts: "Cheer up, Gramps, there's no way a fella can foul up s'mores. Knock on wood."
Lincoln: "Yeah, you can do this."
[Leonard carefully places the two halves together. Later, he serves the s'mores.]
Leonard: "Here you go, little minnows. Gramps's famous s'mores."
Lynn: "Now the best part: pounding it."
[The kids take a bite]
Leni: "I'm tasting chocolate, definitely graham cracker and marshmallow, but there's something I just can't place."
Leonard: "Yep, that's lake trout. I thought the scales would give it some extra zing."
[The kids are all disgusted at what they just ate and immediately spit them out.]
Lola: "Gross!"
Leonard: [groans] "I'm as hopeless as a schooner with no sail!"
Lincoln: "Don't worry, Gramps."
Lynn: "Yeah, we'll start over first thing in the morning."
Leonard: "I appreciate all your help, kiddos, but you've done everything you can do." [ruffles Lynn's hair] "I'm just not cut out to run this place. As much as I love Camp Mastodon, I'll have to sell it." [The kids complain] "Ah, it's OK. I guess I'm meant to be a fisherman. You can all bunk in the cabins tonight. I'm gonna head out in the morning, follow the tide, wherever it takes me." [the kids hug in, protesting] "We'll see each other again someday, my little..." [tears up] "MINNOWS!"
[He heads off to his boat sobbing.]
Lily: "Don't want Gramps to go."
Leni: "It's been so great having him back and spending time together."
[His horn blares]
Lana: "Rough translation: Gramps says, 'Ding-dang-darn it.'"

[The next morning, Leonard unties the rope and his boat heads off into the unknown.]
Leonard: "Looks like it's just you and me, Frank." [suddenly he hears the kids shouting over each other] "What the heck?" [he checks under the deck to find the kids] "Kids?! What are you doing here?!"
Lynn: "We're going with you, Gramps!"
Luan: "We promised to help you out for a week. Now we'll just do it on your boat."
Leonard: "Ah, you silly sea cucumbers! You don't even like the fisherman's life!"
[The kids pop up on the deck]
Luna: "Doesn't matter, Gramps, dude. We'll do whatever it takes to be with you." [grabs a mop] "I'll learn to swab the deck." [slips]
Lynn: "And I'll learn how to hoist junk." [hoists Lily, who giggles]
Lola: "And I'll even learn to..." [shudders] "...pee in a bucket."
Lana: "Sloshie Jr., Lola! He has a name."
Lincoln: "Gramps, all we really care about is spending time with you, even if it means doing a bunch of boat stuff that we are not good at."
Leonard: "You know what? If you all can try to make it work at sea, I can try harder to make it work on land. Especially if it means I get to be with my minnows! Bring it in!"
[He brings them all in for a hug once more]
Lincoln: "Gramps... need air."

[Later, Camp Mastodon is back in full swing. Leonard and the kids oversee the process]
Lincoln: "You're doing great so far, Gramps."
Leonard: "Who's ready for some water-skiing?!"
[He starts his boat with a camper skiing behind it]
Camper: "Yay! I'm doing it!"
[Suddenly the giant sturgeon eats her]
Leonard: "HEY! Come back here with my camper!" [dives in the water to rescue her, grabs the sturgeon, and gets back on land] "Bad ray sturgeon! Spit her out right now!"
[The fish spits out the camper]
Camper: "Wow. That was awesome! I wanna do it again! Woo-hoo!"
[She dives back into the water. The kids cheer at Leonard being a great camp host, and he chuckles too. The fish burps. The end.]