The following is a transcript for the episode "Cut the Chisme."

Script

The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Viacom International Inc. (a wholly owned subsidiary of Paramount Skydance Corporation), and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use under United States copyright law.

[At the mercado, Vito is ready for a conversation with Hector]
Vito: "I'm here for my tasty horchata and more importantly my juicy gossip."
Hector: [Takes out a pitcher] "Horchata coming in cold." [Fills a glass to take to Vito] "And chisme coming in hot. So, Rosa's been sawing logs every night. And by that, I mean snoring." [Pretends to snore as Vito laughs] "It's like sleeping next to a garbage truck."
[Suddenly, Rosa taps Hector, and she's really angry]
Rosa: "Well this garbage truck's not making you dinner tonight."
[Angrily walks away. Hector is disappointed]
Vito: "You can come to my place. I'm making my famous meatballs. Uh, can you bring the meat? And the spaghetti, and maybe a little bread?" [Hector growls at Vito] "Or just yourself see you at eight."
[Leaves. Then Hector sees Bruno picking out a bag of chips. Hector pops out of the shelf]
Hector: "Bruno, chicharrones are ten percent off, but you know what's free? This chisme. I hear Miranda's got a new boyfriend, I hope he doesn't find out about her foot fungus." [Bruno clears his throat and points, Miranda and her boyfriend are right behind Hector. Smiling] "Oh, Miranda!" [Miranda looks at her boyfriend, embarrassed, and runs out crying. Hector doesn't even realize and shouts after her] "You forgot your fungal cream!"
[Her boyfriend takes the cream and goes after Miranda. Bobby approaches Hector]
Bobby: "Ah, not cool Abuelo."
[Miranda runs out in shame, and her boyfriend goes after her. Mr. Nakamura and Nelson enter]
Hector: "Mr. Nakamura! Back for more puppy laxatives? I had to order an extra crate just to keep up." [To Bruno and Bobby] "Nelson's been having some going numero dos, and by that, I mean pooping."
[Nelson gets angry and throws a mango at Hector. He and Bruno duck and Hector's innocent nieto gets hit]
Bobby: "Still not cool, Abuelo. And, ow."

[Later that night, Hector enters the apartment, super excited to tell his family something]
Hector: "Hola! I'm home! You guys will never guess what Vito wears to bed." [Notices the family just glaring at him] "What? You already know about the bunny pyjamas?"
Carl: "No, Abuelo, this is a convention!"
Carlos: "Actually, Carl the word is, intervention."
Rosa: "Hector your chisme addiction is embarrassing to your family."
Bobby: "And making the customers mad."
Frida: "You're a chismoso. And by that I mean you're the biggest gossip in town."
Hector: "What I'm not a gossip. Anyway, as I was saying… Vito wears his pyjamas with huge bunny ears." [The family growls at Hector. Hector realizes what he's doing] "Okay, now I see it. I didn't even know I was doing it. I'm sorry. I never meant any harm."
Rosa: "I know, mi amor, but when you talk about people behind their backs it can be hurtful."
Hector: "Ah, you're right. As of today, I am swearing off chisme. Right after I tell you about Mr. Scully's toupee."
[Snickers, then Ronnie Anne shoves a pillow in his mouth]
Sergio: [Squawks] "This won't be easy."
Ronnie Anne: "Don't worry, Abuelo, we can come by the mercado and help you cut the chisme."
[Hector agrees]

[The next morning, Hector is sweeping the mercado when his nietos and Lalo enter]
Ronnie Anne: "How's it going, Abuelo?"
Hector: "Muy bien. I haven't gossiped all day."
Bobby: "We've been open for five minutes."
Hector: "I know, it's a record." [Just then, the doorbell rings. It's one of the neighbourhood's hottest gossips] "Oh no, Margarita always has the best gossip and I know I'm gonna want to repeat it. Quick! Chisme proof me!"
[Quickly, Carlota grabs two carrots and sticks them up Hector's ears]
Margarita: [Unaware Hector is trying not to gossip] "Hector, I've got a juicy morsel for you…" [Starts speaking Spanish, Hector can't hear and is relieved at first, but then realizes something as Margarita's lips move]"
Hector: [Gasps] "Oh, no. I didn't realize it, but I can read lips."
[Bobby blindfolds Hector]
Margarita: [Still unaware, and getting annoyed] "Hector please stop messing around with the kids. I have important things to tell you."
[The rest of the kids jump in]
Ronnie Anne: "Sorry, Margarita, my Abuelo's needed in the back."
[They rush Hector to the dairy case and Ronnie Anne closes him in. Margarita shrugs it off and leaves. The kids are relieved]
Bobby: "She's gone, you can come out now."
[The freezer door opens and Hector slides out in a block of ice, which shatters when he hits the floor, also knocking the carrots and blindfold out of place. Suddenly Margarita returns]
Margarita: "Whoops, I forgot my crema." [Opens the dairy case to get it, then whispers to Hector] "Oh, and Bruno's got two belly buttons. keep that between you and me, okay? Okay. Bye."
Hector: "Two belly buttons? Ooh, that's the best chisme I've ever heard! I gotta tell someone!"
[Excitedly runs off, having forgotten his promise]
Ronnie Anne: "No, Abuelo."
[Hector prepares to announce it on the mercado intercom]
Hector: "Attention shoppers!" [The intercom can be heard outside] "Hot chisme in aisle one! Bruno's got two…"
[Carl, CJ and Carlitos tackle Hector to the ground. Ronnie Anne takes over the intercom]
Ronnie Anne: "Hotdogs! Only two left. Better get out there."
[Hector grabs the mic]
Hector: "Not hotdogs! Belly…"
[Gets a wad of gum shoved in his mouth. The kids are relieved that Hector can't speak now. But Hector gets up and immediately gets texting]
CJ: "He's texting."
[Swats Hector's phone away and Carlota puts paper bags over Hector's hands]
Carlota: "That should stop him." [Gets a text] "It's chisme, from Abuelo!"
[Still forgetting his promise, Hector is texting with his feet and toes. Carl throws the phone away and puts oven mitts on Hector's feet. Hector gets annoyed and blows a bubble with the gum. The gum pops in midair forming words and releasing Hector's voice]
Hector's Voice: "Bruno… has… two…"
[Lalo jumps up and eats the last bubble before it pops]
Ronnie Anne: [Getting frustrated] "There's gotta be another way. I hate to do this but I think it's time to bring in Sergio."
[On cue, Sergio appears]
Sergio: [Squawks] "Hasta la vista, chisme."
[Takes out a spray bottle and makes a few warning sprays. Hector blows another bubble]
Hector's voice: "Uh oh."

[Later, Vito enters the mercado]
Hector: "Vito, you won't believe…"
[Gets sprayed]
Sergio: "You say it, I spray it." [Later, Hector is ringing up Mr. Scully, then looks around and whispers to him. Sergio appears and ambushes Hector with two bottles] "You blurt it, I squirt it."
[Later, Hector is sweeping and sees Maybelle. He opens his big mouth and Sergio sprays more water into it]
Hector: "I didn't say anything!"
Sergio: "You think it, you drink it."

[Eventually, closing time comes. Hector turns the sign and approaches his nietos]
Hector: "Ha ha! We did it, mijitos! I went all day without telling anyone…" [Puts his elbow on the intercom button] "Bruno has two bellybuttons."
[Everyone in the park, even the pigeons, hears the intercom and starts laughing at Bruno]
Bruno: [Humiliated] "Hey! That was a secret."
[Back in the mercado]
Ronnie Anne: [Points at the mic] "Abuelo."
Carlota: "You think one is an innie and one is an outie?"
Ronnie Anne: "Forget Bruno's weird belly buttons. We haven't cured Abuelo. I think we're gonna need a pro."
[A very angry customer opens the mercado door]
Bruno: "You know the mic's still on, right? And they're outies, okay?!"

[At Greta's Magic Shop, the kids have Hector with the carrots, blindfold, paper bags, oven mitts, mouth duct taped shut and strapped to a dolly]
Ronnie Anne: "Greta, can you please hypnotize my Abuelo so he stops gossiping?"
Greta: [Makes her hypnotism wheel appear] "I can hypnotize him not to gossip but I must warn you it can't be undone."
All the Kids: "We don't want this undone!"
Greta: "Ah, very well." [Removes the carrots and blindfold and readies her wheel] "Ooma, zooba, zoomba, smell. You are now under my spell." [Hector does go under] "The rumours swirl inside your head. Let no more words you've heard be spread. If you should ever feel the urge, you will not go and purge. And if you do there is a hitch, you will have an uncontrollable itch." [Finishes spellcasting] "Basically if he wants to talk he's gonna scratch."
[The kids understand and the wheel stops. Hector comes out of the trance]
Carl: "Did it work?"
Greta: "Only one way to find out, somebody tell him some gossip."
[Bobby whispers something to Hector]
Hector: "Really? Hey everyone…"
[Suddenly Hector starts scratching, even using the iron maiden. He goes inside and exits the magic box on the other side of the store]
Ronnie Anne: "It worked! He's too itchy to gossip."
Bobby: [Relieved] "Thank goodness. Otherwise, you'd all know I still sleep with a teddy bear."
[Everyone looks at each other, Bobby not realizing that he just told everyone himself]

[Back at the mercado, Hector is waiting at the register when he hears sobbing outside. He sees Miranda hugging her boyfriend, and sobbing as he leaves her. She drops to her knees and keeps sobbing. Hector gasps and goes to Bobby]
Hector: "Bobby, you didn't hear it from me but Miranda…"
[Starts scratching himself uncontrollably]
Bobby: [Thinking this is a good thing] "Itching means you have chisme." [Cheers] "Hypnosis rules." [Miranda walks up looking despondent] "Oh. Hey, Miranda. How are things going with that new boyfriend I hear you might be the one."
Miranda: [Angry at Bobby now] "He dumped me! But thanks for reminding me, Bobby."
[Runs out of the mercado sobbing again]
Bobby: "Abuelo, why didn't you warn me?" [Remembers] "Oh, right. You can't."
[Later, Hector is sweeping outside the mercado when he sees Par drive up Par backs up but bumps into something, it's another car. Par pulls forward and looks. He sees that he scratched someone's car. Quickly, he pulls out a banana, splits it, and uses the peel the clean the mark off. Par looks around and tosses the peel away. It lands in front of Hector and Par drives off]
Hector: "Bump and run? With a banana peel buff job? Ha ha. Wait till everyone hears about this."
Ronnie Anne: [Offscreen] "Hey, Abuelo."
[Ronnie Anne comes skating in]
Hector: "Ronnie Anne! Guess what just happened…"
[Suddenly, Greta's spell kicks in and Hector starts scratching again. Without warning, Ronnie Anne skates right over the banana peel and slides right into some trashcans. She then spots the peel]
Ronnie Anne: [A little upset] "Abuelo! Thanks for telling me about the banana peel."
Hector: [Still scratching] "I couldn't."
Rosa: [Walks up] "Hector, I hear Greta's spell is working. I'm so proud of you, and good news, the doctor gave me a machine to help with my snoring."
[Rosa holds up her 'Snore No More' machine]
Hector: "Ooh, too good! Must gossip!"
[Just keeps scratching as Rosa leaves, knowing her esposo won't say anything]

[Later that night, a heavy breathing is heard in apartment 2A. Ronnie Anne and Bobby come out of their rooms, Ronnie Anne with her skateboard and Bobby with his sticker gun]
Ronnie Anne: [Scared] "What's that noise?"
[The breathing is heard again and their pets and primos enter the apartment with their own various weapons; Carlota her hairbrush, Carlitos his rattle, CJ his inflatable sword, Carl his elote blaster and Sergio his marshmallow blaster]
CJ: "Did you guys hear that?"
Carl: "It sounds like the evil El Cyborg from El Falcón volume six."
Ronnie Anne: "That's ridiculous, Carl, there's no such thing as..." [The heavy breathing again as a shadowy figure approaches the kids. It's a human body with a robot-like face] "El Cyborg! Blast it!"
[Those carrying blasters start firing. The character is bombarded with marshmallows, plastic corn and price stickers before being tackled and pinned by Lalo. The kids get their weapons ready. Rosa takes off her sleep mask and screams]
Carl: "It mutated into Abuela!"
Ronnie Anne: "Stop! It is Abuela."
[The kids hide their weapons and Rosa gets up, a little mad at the kids for attacking her]
Rosa: "Didn't Abuelo tell you I got a machine for my snoring?"
Carlota: "How could he? He's not gossiping anymore."
Bobby: "His not gossiping is ruining our lives even more."
Ronnie Anne: "I guess we didn't realize how much we rely on Abuelo for information."
CJ: "Gretta can't undo the spell."
Carl: "We can't undo the spell, but maybe we can break it. When you fill a balloon with too much water it pops."
Bobby: "You want to fill Abuelo with water?"
Carl: "Not water. Chisme."

[In the morning, Hector enters the apartment to find his family waiting for him again]
Hector: "Another intervention? But I've been good. I've got the scratch marks to prove it."
[Shows his scratch marks]
Rosa: "That's the problem, we're not getting our chisme."
Ronnie Anne: "There's some stuff we need to know."
Carlota: [Grabs a chair and puts it under Hector] "Sit still, Abuelo. this is for your own good." [Joins the famil and they all take a deep breath] "These shoes aren't designer."
Frida: "My last painting was by numbers."
[Hector starts scratching]
CJ: "I used Bobby's toothbrush.
Bobby: "I used CJ's toothbrush."
[Hector keeps scratching and his head inflates]
Ronnie Anne: "At skate practice I said I did a three-sixty spin, but it was only at three-forty."
[Hector's head inflates again]
Rosa: "Last week I served you store-bought tortillas."
[Hector's head inflates again]
Carl: "He's about to pop, we need one more."
Carlos: "I don't separate my recycling!" [The entire family gasps at that one] "What it's confusing."
[A popping sound is heard, giant-headed Hector stops scratching, runs to the window, and crams his giant head out of it]
Hector: [For the whole neighbourhood to hear] "My son's a bad recycler! Rosa buys tortillas!" [His head starts deflating] "Ronnie Anne did a three-forty! Frida paints by numbers! Carlota wears knock-offs! And Bobby and CJ share toothbrushes! Yuck! Chisme!" [His head back to normal size, Hector realizes] "I'm not itching. I'm free! I can gossip again!"
[Everyone cheers about this]

[The next day, Hector is back in the mercado with Bruno and Vito]
Hector: [Laughing] "That bobo can't recycle! The pictures are on the bins."
[The three laugh]
Vito: "I got one… I heard some chump's family had him hypnotized so he wouldn't open his big fat mouth."
[Only Bruno laughs at that one]
Hector: [Being said chump] "You really shouldn't gossip, Vito."
[Vito keeps laughing, when Sergio taps him. Vito looks and gets sprayed in the face with water, he runs out]
Sergio: "Chisme terminated."
[The end]