The following is a transcript for the episode "Strife Coach."

Script

The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Viacom International Inc. (a wholly owned subsidiary of Paramount Skydance Corporation), and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use under United States copyright law.

[At the skatepark, Ronnie Anne is riding the half-pipe while her friends watch from the bottom]
Ronnie Anne: [Skates by her friends] "Did you guys hear the big news?" [Skates past again...] "Coach…" [..And again...] "Crawford's…"
[Gets some serious air, her friends are in suspense]
Casey: "Coach Crawford's what?"
Nikki: "Getting a mohawk?"
Sameer: "Learning how to smile?"
Casey: [Can't stand waiting] "Tell us! The suspense is too much to handle."
Ronnie Anne: [Skates by again and stops] "Retiring!"
Others: "No way!"
Ronnie Anne: "Yes, way!"
[Sameer starts crying]
Nikki: [Tries to comfort him] "It's okay, Sameer." [To the others] "I didn't know they were so close."
Sameer: "I'm not sad. These are happy tears." [Wipes them away] "Coach Crawford always made us work so hard in gym class."
[Flashback to all six of them dangling from the pullup bar. Coach blows his whistle at Sameer and he falls, followed in sequence by the others. Next, they are all running on the track, Coach following them on a golf cart, he honks at them and blows his whistle at them. Next, they, and some other classmates are doing sit-ups. Ronnie Anne notices something]
Flashback Ronnie Anne: [Sighs] "He's gone. I think we can stop."
[Everyone takes a rest. Suddenly one of the girls takes her face off, revealing herself to be Coach Crawford in disguise. He blows his whistle into a megaphone and everyone does situps again. Except for Sameer, who is in the fetal position sucking his thumb. End of flashback. Sameer is still in the fetal position sucking his thumb]
Casey: "Whoever the new coach is, let's hope they're easier than Crawford."
[Suddenly, a yoga ball bounces off Sameer's head and Ronnie Anne catches it]
Mrs. Kernicky: "Sorry kids. Can you pass that yoga ball back? I'm just teaching my aerobics class."
[Said class consists of Rosa, Hector and Vito. Vito is laying on his stomach on a ball, Big Tony and Little Sal lick his face]
Ronnie Anne: "Here, Mrs. Kernicky."
[Throws her the ball]
Mrs. Kernicky: [Goes over to her class] "Rosa, don't overdo it. Listen to your body."
[Rosa is rolling oner the ball on her back, it pops. Meanwhile, Sergio is holding a churro over Hector while he does sit-ups]
Hector: [Grunts] "Churro… Mine."
Mrs. Kernicky: "Hector! You're pushing yourself too hard. Take it nice and easy."
[Mrs. Kernicky's words echo, sending the kids to a blissful state of mind]
Ronnie Anne: "Guys, I have an idea. We should get Mrs. Kernicky to be our new gym teacher. She'd be so much better than Crawford. And I think she used to be a teacher too."
Sameer: "Ronnie Anne's right. If we don't take matters into our own hands, who knows who the next coach could be?"
[They have a fantasy of themselves running on the track, with a drill sergeant chasing them in a tank]
Drill Sergeant: [Into a megaphone] "Run, tweenage turds!"
[The sergeant runs over them with his tank. End of fantasy. They all agree to the plan]
Laird: "She's got my vote."
[Ronnie Anne taps on Mrs. Kernicky's shoulder]
Ronnie Anne: "Hey, Mrs. Kernicky. We have an interesting proposition for you."

[At Chavez Acadamy, Principal Valenzuela is looking at Mrs. Kernicky's application]
Principal Valenzuela: "Excellent references." [Closes her laptop and Sees Mrs. Kernicky doing shoulder presses] "Very impressive."
[Checks something off her list. The kids are watching from outside the office]
Ronnie Anne: "Wow! She's nailing it. Principal Valenzuela seems to really like her."
Nikki: "And she's on the most crucial part of the gym teacher interview. The whistle test."
[Principal Valenzuela observes as Mrs. Kernicky inhales and blows her whistle. She blows a pleasant tune that takes the kids to their state of bliss once again. They sigh]
Sid: "What a beautiful tune."
[The ladies exit the office and shake hands. The principal goes back into her office and Mrs. Kernicky gives the kids two thumbs up]
Ronnie Anne: "She got the job!"
[The kids all cheer, and Principal Valenzuela looks at them through the window. They stop and she closes her blinds]

[At the next gym class, Mrs. Kernicky backflips in front of the kids]
Mrs. Kernicky: "Hi, kids. I'm Coach Kernicky. Now, who's ready to get fit and have fun?" [Ronnie Anne & Sid smile at each other. The whole class cheers.]

[On the track, Mrs. Kernicky leads the kids running]
Mrs. Kernicky: "Lookin' good. Listen to your body."
Ronnie Anne: "Mrs. Kernicky, My body's telling me to rest."
[Her friends stop and agree]
Kids: "Mine too." "I need a breather."
Mrs. Kernicky: "But you only took five steps."
[The camera zooms out and reveals the starting line is still very close to them.]
Sameer: [Looking at his body] "What's that, body?" [Shows his belly and squeezes as he talks through it] "I need to chill."
[Sameer takes out a neck pillow and a frilly blindfold and goes to sleep. Mrs. Kernicky looks at him.]

[Later, Mrs. Kernicky is doing pull-ups]
Mrs. Kernicky: "See? Nice and easy."
[Mrs. Kernicky looks and gasps, seeing the kids making it easier. Casey is using a trampoline, Ronnie Anne a step-ladder, Sid is using long fake arms, Nikki is just tall enough to reach the bar standing on the floor, and Laird is doing it while sat on Sameer's head.]
Laird: "Now this is nice and easy." [Suddenly, Laird falls into Sameer's very long hair. It moves while he speaks.] "Where am I? Do I smell shampoo?"
[Mrs. Kernicky is growing suspicious.]

[Later, Mrs. Kernicky is doing sit-ups. While the kids are just laying down with pillows and misting fans. Ronnie Anne & Sid are reading a K-Pop magazine, Sameer & Casey are napping, and Nikki & Laird are drinking tea.]
Mrs. Kernicky: "Engage your core."
Casey: "Can you keep it down? I'm engaging my snore."
[Gets snoring. Mrs. Kernicky is really suspicious now]

[The next day, the school bell rings. Ronnie And and her friends enter the classroom without care]
Ronnie Anne: "Yesterday was awesome."
Sid: "I know. Best gym coach ever."
[The kids gasp in horror when they see exercise bikes where their desks used to be]
Ronnie Anne: "What happened to our class?"
[Mrs. Galiano enters wearing a tracksuit]
Mrs. Galiano: "New school policy. All desks have been replaced with" [Opera voice] "exercise bi-i-i-ikes." [Ushers the kids onto the bikes] "Get ready to learn and burn." [The kids start riding and Mrs. Galiano gets on her bike] "Okay, kids. We'll be covering chapter ten at speed level ten." [Sets the settings on the bikes, the kids start panting] "Push it, people. I'm grading on a curve."
[She pulls a lever and steers her bike. The other bikes start revving up smoke, filling up the whole room. A banging sound is heard.]

[Later, the friends are all going to lunch, groaning]
Ronnie Anne: "Thank goodness it's lunch. A whole half-hour of sitting down."
[They enter the cafeteria]
All Six: "What?"
[The camera zooms out. It reveals the whole cafeteria being turned into a parkour obstacle course]
Sameer: "What? We have to pass an obstacle course to get lunch?"
[One kid screams as he gets sprung right out of the room. Everyone ducks to dodge the airborne kid as he crashes into a wall.]
Nikki: "Guess I'll just starve."
[Sameer's stomach rumbles, causing everyone to notice and him to cover it.]
Sameer: "So... hungry."
[He decides to go for it. He gets on the spinning wheel, manages a few steps, but gets caught up in the spinning. He gets flung into the wall, drops to the floor, and bounces back on the wheel, where he gets spin again, flung onto the wall again, drops again, and bounces onto the wheel again]

[Later, Principal Valenzuela is on an exercise bike, when there's a knock on her office door]
Principal Valenzuela: "Come on in." [Ronnie Anne enters] "Hi, Ronnie Anne. Bienvenida to the spin zone."
Ronnie Anne: "Principal Valenzuela, um, can I ask why you decided to make everything in school so... healthy?"
Principal Valenzuela: "Ah! It wasn't my idea. It was Coach Kernicky's."
Ronnie Anne: "Mrs. Kernicky?!"
Principal Valenzuela: [Exhales] "She was very concerned after seeing everyone's low energy in gym. So she implemented a full fitness curriculum." [Exhales again] "Thanks again for recommending her. And don't forget to hydrate!"
[Ronnie Anne groans and leaves]

[As she walks through the hall, Mrs. Galiano jogs by, with the class following her]
Sid: "Help, Ronnie Anne! They're making us jog during geography."
Nikki: "They're calling it ge-jog-raphy. It's like we're living in a nightmare."
Mrs. Galiano: "Get moving, Ronnie Anne!" [Ronnie Anne joins] "Hey! What's the capital of Argentina?"
Ronnie Anne: "Uh, Argentina City?"
Mrs. Galiano: "Wrong, it's Buenos Aires. Three more laps, class. Come on!"
[The kids groan. Sameer passes out, followed by Casey. They drag themselves after the class]

[At the end of the day, the groaning kids are all in a pile on their skateboards being towed by Lalo, who gets tired]
Mrs. Kernicky: [Jumping rope] "Bye, kids. See you tomorrow for another fun, fitness-packed day."
[Jumps away. The kids groan]
Ronnie Anne: "This is awful. Mrs. Kernicky's worse than Coach Crawford."
Sameer: "I can't handle another day like this."
Laird: [Groans] "I know! Coach K even turned the toilet into a weight machine."
[Flashback to Laird in the stall, really needing to pee. He tries to pull the bar down, but the counterweight weighs more than him]
Flashback Laird: "Ugh, come on!"
[He can't do it. End of flashback]
Laird: "I've been doing the pee-pee dance all day."
Nikki: [To Ronnie Anne] "I know she's your neighbour and all, but Coach Kernicky's gotta go."
Ronnie Anne: "How are we supposed to do that? The principal loves the new changes."
Casey: "We gotta do something. My thighs can't take another day on that bike."
Ronnie Anne: "The bike! That's it!" [Gets up and runs off, then returns for her still exhausted friends] "Uh, guys, I said 'That's it!' That usually means you follow me to see the plan."
Casey: "You go. We're too tired."
Ronnie Anne: [Groans] "Fine."
[Takes the rope from Lalo and tows her friends herself. They look into the principal's office and see it's empty. Ronnie Anne tiptoes in] Ronnie Anne: "Sorry, Principal Valenzuela, but it's time you felt the burn too."
[Changes the settings on the principal's bike from level one to danger level fifty]

[The next day, the friends skate to school, up to Mrs. Kernicky]
Mrs. Kernicky: "Great! You're here. I've got a special day planned for us today."
[The school bus is present, with kids getting on]
Ronnie Anne: "Let me guess. We have to pull the school bus on a rope?"
Mrs. Kernicky: "Oh, no, no! Something much better."

[They pull up in front of Joe's Arcade]
Ronnie Anne: "Uh, why are we at the arcade?"
Mrs. Kernicky: "You all worked out super hard yesterday. So, today you deserve a reward."
[Enters the arcade]
Sameer: "She must be playing some kind of mind game with us."
Laird: [Really needing to pee] "I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna use the bathroom while I have the chance."
[Rushes inside. In the arcade, Sid and Nikki are doing amazing at the K-Pop dance machine]
Dance Machine: "You're on K-Pop fire! New record."
Nikki: "Is it just me, or are we a lot better at this game than usual?"
[Meanwhile, Sameer is trying the arm wrestling machine, and his big muscles rip the arm right off the machine. He gets so many tickets they send him flying backwards]
Sameer: "I'm a beast!"
[Kisses his arms. Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne & Laird are racing on the bike machine]
Bike Machine: "High score! Going so fast!"
Ronnie Anne: "Wow! We've never made it to this level before."
Casey: [Jogs up to them] "And I kinda like ge-jog-graphy. The capital of Afghanistan is Kabul."
Ronnie Anne: "Maybe Mrs. Kernicky's not so bad after all."
Laird: "Yeah. Too bad we messed with the principal's exercise bike to get Mrs. Kernicky fired."
Ronnie Anne: [Gasps in horror, and breaks the handlebars realizing] "The principal's bike! We have to get back and stop her from getting on it."
Mrs. Kernicky: [Comes up; unaware] "Hey, kids! The bus just pulled up. Collect your prizes. We'll be leaving soon."
Ronnie Anne: "Uh, Coach K, can we get a head start and run back to school?"
Laird: "Yeah! We love exercising now."
Mrs. Kernicky: "That's a fit-tastic idea, kids."
[They whizz right past her, spinning her on an axis and making her dizzy.]

[Back at the school, the bell rings. The principal gets on her bike, straps on her gloves, doesn't notice the level setting on her bike and hits the on-button. She pedals as she expected herself to be doing, until the bike revs up]
Principal Valenzuela: "Oh! This thing's faster!"
[She starts going even faster and gets a little scared. Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne and friends are running through the halls]
Ronnie Anne: "We made it in record time!"
Sid: "I feel super-human."
[Picks Laird up and holds him over her head]
Laird: "You're lucky I peed already."
Sameer: "Hopefully she hasn't gotten on her bike yet."
[They arrive at the office, and the principal comes crashing right through the door on her bike]
Principal Valenzuela: "Ah! Ayudame!" [Goes down the hall] "How do I stop this thing?"
[Screams as she crashes into the cafeteria obstacle course. She bounces off the climbing wall, spins on the wheel and gets flung onto the spring platform, which launches her over the piranha pool and into the cook, who was carrying a chocolate cake. The cake splatters and covers the screen. The two women groan, until Mrs. Kernicky arrives to check on them.]
Mrs. Kernicky: "Principal Valenzuela, what happened?"
Principal Valenzuela: [Takes some cake mess off her hair and becomes angry] "I'll tell you what happened! Your exercise bike went nuts." [Throws the bike away.] "None of this would've happened if I were sitting at a desk like a normal principal." [To her face.] "You're fired!"
[Ronnie Anne and her friend's run up]
Ronnie Anne: "No! Wait! It's not her fault. It's ours. We rigged your bike to get Mrs. Kernicky fired."
Mrs. Kernicky: [Gasps] "But why? You got me the job."
Ronnie Anne: "We only did that because we thought you were going to go easy on us."
Sid: "Boy, were we wrong!"
Ronnie Anne: "But we were also wrong about not wanting to exercise. We get now that it's a good thing."
Sameer: "Especially when it helps you win this."
[Everyone gasps and frightening music plays when they see Sameer's arcade prize, A disturbingly Sameer-shaped doll]
Ronnie Anne: "We're sorry, Mrs. Kernicky. And sorry we ruined your bike, Principal Valenzuela."
Principal Valenzuela: "I see. Mrs. Kernicky, you're un-fired. Kids, apology accepted. Cake for everyone!" [Everyone cheers] "After you clean up this mess."
Sid: "Way ahead of you." [Eats the cake right off the floor. Everyone looks at her] "Five-second rule."
[The kids all cheer]

[The next day, Ronnie Anne and most of her friends walk into the classroom and see the desks]
Sid: "Woah, what happened to the bikes?"
Mrs. Kernicky: "I told Principal Valenzuela to put everything back to normal. I figured we can keep all our exercising to gym class, if you all promise to give it your best."
Ronnie Anne: "We promise."
Mrs. Kernicky: [Realizes something] "Oh, no! I forgot the bathroom!"
[In the bathroom, Laird tries the machine again, and this time the toilet opens.]
Laird: "Woah, Coach K's training really paid…" [Stands on the bar and is about to do his business, but the bar recoils, yelping and launching him to the ceiling] "Uh, a little help here?" [Suddenly his pants fall to the floor] "Uh, I mean, don't come in here!"